How can I help my 6-year-old manage big feelings?

Edusky Private School · Parents' Guide · Last reviewed: 2026-10-18

In short

- Executive function and self-regulation skills provide critical supports for learning and development.^[1]
- While we aren't born with these skills, we are born with the potential to develop them through interactions and practice.^[1]
- Simple games at home can help exercise these skills.^[2]
- Be patient: these skills develop through interactions and practice.^[1]

What are big feelings?

Big feelings are part of growing up. The skills that help children manage them aren't there at birth; they develop through interactions and practice.^[1]

The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University explains that executive function and self-regulation skills provide critical supports for learning and development.^[1] While we aren't born with these skills, we are born with the potential to develop them through interactions and practice.^[1]

Why practice matters

Self-regulation is learned through practice, not something children are born with.^[1] Harvard's activities guide for 5- to 7-year-olds says games can exercise these skills.^[2]

Activities to try at home

The Harvard Center suggests simple games that build executive function skills:

1. Simon Says

Simon Says is a great game for attention, inhibition, and cognitive flexibility, as the child has to track which rule to apply and switch actions.^[2]

2. Freeze dance

Freeze dance and musical statues help children practice attention and inhibition.^[2] Play music and dance. When the music stops, everyone freezes.

3. Card games

Card games that require remembering the location of particular cards exercise working memory.^[2] At the simplest level, there are games such as Concentration, in which children uncover cards and have to remember the location of matches.^[2]

4. Board games with strategy

Board games that involve some strategy provide opportunities to make and hold a plan in mind for several moves ahead.^[2] Through strategizing, a child's working memory, inhibitory control, and flexibility have to work together.^[2]

5. Guessing games

Guessing games such as 20 Questions require players to use working memory and flexible thinking to hold in mind previous responses while they develop and discard potential theories.^[2]

When feelings are very big

If your child's outbursts worry you or are getting worse, talk to your doctor or a klinik kesihatan.

FAQ

Sources

Sources last verified: 2026-10-18

1. Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. Activities Guide: Enhancing and Practicing Executive Function Skills with Children from Infancy to Adolescence. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/handouts-tools/activities-guide-enhancing-and-practicing-executive-function-skills/. Accessed 2026-10-18.
2. Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. Executive Function Activities for 5- to 7-year-olds. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Executive-Function-Activities-for-5-to-7-year-olds.pdf. Accessed 2026-10-18.